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Linger, I do + 5 Lingerous Luxuries to Calm your Mind

Linger, I do + 5 Lingerous Luxuries to Calm your Mind
To Linger: It's not being in the moment, 
it's not taking a time out. 
To linger is to extend the thought or the action, 
like the follow-through 
     with a bat, a golf club, or a punchline. 

Here was my November quandary: How to deal with the dots on iPhone Calender that make November and December look like Auntie Joan’s bingo card? (She always wins). The plan-and-execute thing has my mind like a shattered kaleidoscope, especially at night. My sentences are truncated to the bare minimum in case I lose my line of thought, again.  And I only have one child. How do people do it all?

The word came to me extraterrestrially – well, it came to me in the theater watching Sandra Bullock manage her own mind in outer space. Her solutions came to her after she stopped her strategizing, when she floated there in what she thought was defeat. She lingered, she did, and her thoughts came to her in their true form.

I told little sis’ on Skype that my holiday mantra was ‘linger’.
“Like being in the moment,” she proferred.
“No. I’m over the moment. I’ve moved on to lingering.”
“Mindfulness then.”
“No,” said I, “But you can be mindful of lingering.”
“You’re weird,” said she.
“Thank you.” And I rolled about in that for a while.

Lingering: is not hanging out in the moment, 
it's the thing that joins each moment to the next, 
it's the glue, the thread, the pull, the attraction, 
the SCIENCE between the moments.

birdsI love watching birds fly in formation. Sometimes they have to flap like crazy to get in line, but once they are part of the V, the thing that holds them together – the air currents, the pressures gradients, their innate sense of space between each other – whatever that is, they are able to flap with a little less freneticism. Coast even. They linger, they do.

Lingerous: it's not mindfulness, 
where you are present in the chewing of food, for example. 
Lingerous is floating for a space-pocket of time, 
after the chewing is done.

Here’s what is helping me this season:

Five Lingerous Luxuries to Calm your Mind

1. When you arrive at any given location, do not get out of the car immediately. You’re late?  Believe me, a late you is better than a late, frazzled you.  Finish the song with your passenger/s, or sit in silence for a second or a minute, or more. Sometimes a second is enough. Sometimes I’ll finish an ♥ Oprah Radio ♥ segment, then linger a little after the car goes through it’s shut down noises. The neighbors are used to my car-sitting.

2. Christmas shopping? Try to convert each gift idea to a book. So instead of visiting a hardware, sporting and ballet store, you can get books on each topic at a lingerously luxurious bookstore. Hold each book for a moment (you have extra time now) and think of the person. You can be in the moment, sentimental, projecting, mindful, envious even – all good, no problems with any of that, but don’t forget to linger.

3. There are people out there. As you check out, get wrapped, plead, wrestle, honk, pass, avoid, collide in the physical world, notice the warm-blooded items you encounter. Stand an extra number of seconds after ‘thank you’, be the last off the plane as the flight attendants drop their guard, hang with the crossing guard, or the fuzzy-haired guy from the third floor, ride the elevator an extra roundtrip. Stop sprinting and see what unfolds.

4. Can’t get to your emails? Feel you need the dedicated head-space to avoid the dreaded email faux pas? Write and reply to all your waiting emails in a mad, unedited dash (flap like crazy) and save each as a draft. Linger over coffee and while in après-coffee lingering mode (coasting), open them one at a time. Do any editing and delete all that are unnecessary.

5. Stare at your iCalendar. Think evil or grateful thoughts – all good – just sit with it in year-mode after scanning its contents. Know that its not you, its just what you have to get done in November and December. Linger over the thought of January, and the months just passed. It’s not being in the moment, or being  mindful, or formally meditative, but stare at it anyway.  Time is the big connector, forward and backwards – roll around in that thought for a while.

Imagine: if you linger after every moment, 
today and every tomorrow, 
you will hit the sweet spot, 
every time.


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