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Fifty Shades of … huh?

4/10/13: Still no grey tie.

5/4/12  – So I finished reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’.  While I couldn’t be happier for new author E. L. James  – and don’t begrudge her any one of her millions, or her newfound fame, I do understand her baffled look when she is questioned on the incredible sales and interest in her books. I’m not sure, also too (didn’t you think Tina Fey was better than Julianne Moore?), whether the phenomenon is due to the unrestrained descriptions of the kinky sex, or the media frenzy over the book phenomenon. And, forsooth, a media frenzy can sell a book, thereby creating a phenomenon. Actually the media frenzy was the only thing that had me reading to the end. I would have put it down at chapter two, if I weren’t waiting for the smut – just to be able to join the conversation.

It’s true!

Here is my opinion, unrestrained, but not at all kinky:

The protagonist is clearly an alien. That, or she has had a frontal lobotomy. She does a lot of talking in her head, trying to convince the reader that she was actually a 21st century girl. Oh yeah, she didn’t write the book, E. L James did. OK then, she seemed like she was acting… Yes, it’s true, she’s not real. Exactly my point! All to say, I felt I was reading a script, not a novel. Try as I might (and not in the way you’re thinking!),  I just could not buy the BID, TID aggressive sex, with pyrotechnic orgasms that rained down upon them.

The perpetrator, Mr Grey, although confounding to the young protagonist, Ana (victim? hero?), is not that hard to figure out. On one hand, he is the indecently rich knight in shining armor that we have been telling our daughters doesn’t exist. On the other, he happens to be extremely violent but kind, wounded, perverted yet non-critical, generous yet controlling, schizophrenic and single minded about a 22 year old who always has the perfect one-liner.  I got the feeling that the author didn’t quite know how he was going to evolve with the story, so he just didn’t.  It’s Meet Jack Black all over again – plus a good beating every now and again. Oh I miss Professor Higgins.

In the end, I didn’t particularly care if they were able to work it out, or not. I would like to know what happened to Mr Grey when he was a boy, but not enough to brave Barnes and Noble for the second round of the trilogy.

My husband, on the other hand, wants to read it now that he has read my review above – annoyingly illustrating my point. That’s just what happens when you join the conversation!

 

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