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Z, why is eaZy so hard?

Z, why is eaZy so hard?

A2Z-BADGE-0002015-LifeisGood-230_zps660c38a0On being half-ass, and why is Easy so Hard?!

And reminding my other half, in 2015,  that this was his club, and he needs to re-subscribe!

The Half-Ass Club

       circa 1998

It’s about getting started because you can always quit.

. . . Meeting an offbeat, grass-chewing southern boy, and driving in his spluttering convertible around the streets of Santa Monica, was a hoot. Kent was unconventional, irreverent and lived a plane ride away – the perfect escape, a no-obligation bonk.  In the first year together I bought him a belt, a wallet and a watch, items he had not used in years.  We went shopping for a suit and got him a financial plan. And though his 101 job-loss stories should have raised a red flag, one of those crazy days I tripped and fell sideways in love.

The day we moved in together, Kent told me that he ‘just didn’t clean’. He also admitted to handymanitis, regularly paying late fees, and pre-planning his sick days. This all seemed surmountable in the filtered light of true love. It wasn’t until we were married with baby that he told me about The Club.

I had always wondered how the homecoming king, senior student council president and rockin’ drummer (with the local heartthrob band ‘Hippie le Peu’ no less) had managed to slither into the background.  According to Kent, it started with a hand-shake agreement between the founding members of The Club, he and his roommate, Dennis. I knew many of the stories. The most enduring visual being two white-legged Georgia boys geared up for a full day mountain bike ride, quitting on the first hill and hitch-hiking back, high-fiving in the back of a hay-filled pick-up truck.  This was the formative moment for ‘The Half-Ass Club’.

. . . he had honed a secret mindfulness,
a conscious way of deflecting stressful perfectionism.

After 9 years, 7 months and 4 days I told Kent I wanted – no, I needed – to join. I was done with finishing – finishing the cleaning, taxes, house projects, sentences. More than a dust-free sofa and a flea-free dog, I wanted his happiness quotient. The truth is, he got more done than I, his friendships were well-maintained, his career on track, he was a loving husband and father – all despite, and because of, his firm commitment to The Half-Ass Club.

Considering the options (Prozac or divorce), he agreed to share the love.

First I learnt that my husband was a closet perfectionist. Underneath his easy-going ways buzzed a far-from-half-ass system of decision making trees – all pointing to minimum disruption and maximum efficiency (yes, efficiency!). It was not that he was unapologetically lazy as I once considered, but that he had honed a secret mindfulness, a conscious way of deflecting stressful perfectionism. This was more than taking the easy road, this was exciting new age philosophy – I grabbed my digital quill.

“Hold on hold on”, said he who doesn’t ruffle.

“Don’t over-analyze, don’t write me into neat little chapters”.

Ah so much to learn.

~~

The Half-Ass Club, Kent went on, is about doing more when your expectations are less. It is about getting started because you can always quit. Ironically, if you are a couch-potato, truly lazy with no aspirations, The Club is not for you.

I was in.

After the appropriately unstructured initiation, I pledged my allegiance to giving less of a shit (the oath chosen for me by Kent) and now I find that life is moving along smoothly. I’ve learnt that vendors send reminders, I sleep well under piles of unfolded laundry and walk lightly through my days, without the weight of the details on my shoulders.

No doubt the pendulum will swing and I will succumb to alphabetizing the pantry, vacuuming the cat, and other temptations. Then I will recite my pledge to the Half-Ass Club, hand off half the errand list to providence, and half the worry to Kent.

~~~

© Robyn T. Murphy

~~~

1 Comment

  1. Adorable splash-page to enter the blog.
    Congratulations on completing the A to Z challenge for 2015.
    We made it! (I did 5 blogs this year for the series – all on different topics. Whew.)
    Thanks for visiting and commenting at
    Kicking MS to the Curb . Hope you will stop by again.

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